So, today’s blog is a little different – more of meandering thoughts. Think of it as the newsletter that I plan to write, to compliment the blog, but haven’t gotten to yet.

First, a big thank you to my four guest bloggers last week! Thank you for reading and commenting on those blogs, too! It was such a smashing success that I’ve decided to repeat the opportunity for the summer months when I am camping or leaving early for a day at the beach. So, get those thinking caps on! I know you have something to say!!! If you lack confidence in your writing ability, I am happy to help by editing your piece! If you are shy, feel free to be anonymous, like Angelina! See? There really are no excuses! Everyone has something to offer, whether it be informative, opinion, humor or inspiration. It can be fiction or real life. A couple of paragraphs or a two-part soliloquy. You can submit it anytime between now and September 1st. 

If you just cannot write a blog, please keep reading and offering comments! I really love your feedback, questions, additional info, etc. My vision for this blog is a give and take. We all have different experiences and have collected knowledge and wisdom on this journey we call life. Don’t be afraid to share! Some people prefer to do it privately, via eMail, and I welcome that as well. I truly cherish everything you say. We learn from each other.

By the same token, I am always accepting ideas for blog themes. There’s a running list that I keep for the days when I’m at a loss for something to say (hard to imagine, I know..) in fact, I will let a few here in the hopes that you might provide me with any experience or insight you’ve had. Sharing your understanding up front, rather than afterward, will enhance the blog! Please eMail (rhodiebean@icloud.com) me with anything you know or have tried on the following topics:

• Clean eating
• Meditation
• Bee Pollen use
• Using Failure as Growth

Today is one of the rare days that I am at home, doing mundane but necessary things, like laundry and vacuuming. Hope your Friday is a little more exciting, but just as productive! Have a fabulous weekend, wherever you are – It seems we are finally having some Spring weather in southern New England! 

Love,

Babs XO

  

  
For some of us, a good night’s sleep is elusive. Sleep provides some pretty important benefits to our health and well being. If you’re anything like me, your days are busy and you feel tired at bedtime. Falling asleep is not usually a problem. Even though I’m a bit of a night owl, I can eventually calm my mind. Staying asleep is another story. For others, falling asleep is where the trouble begins.

It’s important to understand why we need to sleep. Otherwise, it’s easy to underestimate the strong correlation between sleep and health.

• According to research by the Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School, the amount and quality of sleep we get plays a significant part in our memory and learning. While we sleep, cerebrospinal fluid pumps through the brain, clearing toxins that are produced during waking hours. It’s a highly restorative process and lack of sleep can decrease your brain’s ability to organize information. It can also impair judgment and our capacity to assess situations, make decisions, and interpret behaviors.

• Insomnia leads to fatigue. This influences neurons in the brain and can cause decreased focus and performance. Lack of sleep or poor-quality sleep negatively impacts our mood, too.

• In addition to a healthy diet and regular exercise, sleep plays a critical role in maintaining weight and building muscle. Sleep allows the body an opportunity to utilize food and exercise for energy and growth. Growth hormones are produced while we sleep, which strengthens muscles and joints. 

• As we grow older, it becomes more difficult for our bodies to produce growth hormones that are essential for maintaining muscle and eliminating fat. Getting enough sleep helps our bodies use growth hormones. When we’re sleep deprived, the stress hormone cortisol increases. Cortisol allows the body to use all of its energies to deal with a stressful or traumatic event at hand. Normally, levels rise in the morning and gradually dissipate in the evening. Not getting enough sleep upsets the delicate balance, thus decreasing our ability to function during times of extreme stress.

• Sleep affects how our bodies digest food and it also helps controls our appetite. Insufficient sleep triggers a hormone that increases appetite. This can lead to overeating. Poor sleep also lowers levels of another hormone – one that regulates hunger.

• Regardless of age, weight, and bad habits, people who don’t get enough sleep are at a higher risk for cardiovascular disease. Without adequate rest, the body is not able to release chemicals that lower heart rate and blood pressure.

• When we don’t get ample sleep, we are at a much higher risk for getting sick. Our immune function requires sleep to fight off infections and other illnesses.

For the sleep-challenged, like me, Ayurveda (a system of preventive medicine and health care that developed in India more than 5,000 years ago) offers natural approaches to sleeping.

1. Start winding down a couple of hours before bedtime. TV, loud music, and looking at your smartphone can be too stimulating before bedtime.
2. Eat dinner three hours before bedtime so that digestion doesn’t interfere with sleep.
3. Follow a bedtime routine: Take a hot bath, meditate, or have some quiet time. This puts your body in a sleeping mindset.
4. Add a few drops of lavender oil to your bath in the evening.
5. Before bed, drink a warm glass of milk (any type) with a pinch of nutmeg. Or, try a warm glass of milk with infused with 10 strands of saffron.
6. Massage your temples with warm almond or sesame oil just before going to sleep.
7. Simple breathing exercise before bed: With each inhale, mentally repeat “I breathe in peace.” With each exhale, mentally repeat “I breathe out stress.”
8. To be in harmony with the natural rhythms of the day, get into bed about 10:00pm.
9. Avoid sleeping on your stomach, which can obstruct deep and healthy breathing. Instead, sleep on your right side to encourage left nostril breathing. This activates the body’s cooling, relaxing moon energy.
10. Sleep with your head facing facing east and your feet facing west, which encourages restful sleep. The second best direction is to sleep with your head facing south, which improves health. Do not sleep with your head facing north, which disturbs both sleep and health.
11. Remove clutter from your bedroom. Physical clutter causes mental clutter, and a clean, peaceful space encourages the same for the mind.
12. Establish a regular sleep cycle. Try to go to bed and wake up around the same time every day.
13. Some people are very sensitive to caffeine, and should avoid coffee, caffeinated tea and ginseng after morning time or all together.
14. Avoid exercising too late at night, which can be invigorating rather than relaxing. If you do practice yoga in the evenings, use calming sequences and omit stimulating ones.
15. Unless you’re making up for lost sleep, resist napping. Sleep is meant for nighttime. There are a few exceptions: naps are ok for the elderly, pregnant, and ill; and power naps are fine in the hot summer months.

Other suggestions: paint your bedroom Blue (a calming color for sleep) and keep your bedroom space for sleeping: don’t use it as a place to do business or have arguments.

Calcium and magnesium are calming and found in green leafy vegetables, almonds and figs. Be active during the day. Naps are healing when needed, but longer than 20 minutes interferes with nocturnal rest. Take a walk after dinner.

Medications can interfere with sleep, including antibiotics, steroids, decongestants, cold remedies, appetite suppressants, contraceptives and thyroid medications. Sugar doesn’t help either. Stop drinking anything several hours before bed. Waking to pee can disturb sleep.

Herbs have long been used to promote sleeping and are available as tea. Chamomile calms anxiety and stress. Hops contain a safe, reliable sedative. Passionflower relaxes the mind and slows the breakdown of serotonin and norepinephrine. Stronger herbs include valerian, which calms anxiety and relaxes muscles. Kava kava is a tropical tribal remedy for insomnia and nervousness. 

I’m not suggesting that you try all of these! But there are some ideas that hit home for me – easy changes I can make in an effort to sleep more and to sleep better. If to try any of these, let me know your results! Until then, sweet dreams!

  

  
I just love having the world at my fingertips 24 hours a day. While watching an episode of Modern Family on the DVR last night, I shopped for summer shirts, acquired some new, healthy recipes, ordered a refill of a prescription and caught up on several friends’ school vacation activities. Then I made my move on 5 different Scrabble games. 

But there are times when taking a break from our devices can be rewarding – not to mention healthy. Spending time outdoors recently has been a welcome distraction from my iPad and iPhone (Once I satisfy my sharing compulsion by snapping and posting a picture, of course!)

• Looking at the buds on the trees and listening to birdsong is best enjoyed with eyes and ears open. Nature is important and it’s best consumed without electronics. You miss a lot when you’re looking down.

• Experts recommend that we turn off our devices as much as 2 hours prior to bedtime. The light can interfere with our ability to get a good night’s sleep. If you are reading about current events or other stimulating information, I think it adds to the inability to relax and unwind.

• Intermittently checking your phone can hinder productivity. You might think you are adept at multitasking, but research says otherwise. It’s best to focus on one task at a time and Follow it thru to the end. So, if you’re busy checking things off your ‘to do’ list, ignore that phone and check your eMail when you’re finished.

• Have you been out with someone who constantly checks their phone? It can put a damper on an evening, for sure. Turn off the sound and keep it in your pocket, on vibrate, if you’re expecting an important call. Otherwise, you might alienate the person sitting across from you. 

• Are you obsessed with getting a photo or taking a video of every funny moment? Our phones’ capabilities make it tempting and we all have great memories stored there. There are times, however, when it’s much more rewarding to fully enjoy the moment, rather than experience it thru the lens of a camera (or phone).

Whatever it is, it can wait. It was only a few years ago that we relied on answering machines, anchored to our kitchen counters, for messages. We checked our eMail and Facebook pages twice a day, at best. Our pictures had to be sent out to be developed. Chances are, you can get thru an hour or two today. I know I’m guilty of most of the examples, at times. But I’m going to disconnect more often. Why not give it a try?

  

  
Speaking of exercise…. I’ve been doing some mental workouts lately. I’m not sure if it’s my age or the fact that my mind is free of all the crap that comes from working. It could be a by-product of the introspection that comes with new adventures, like blogging. I’ve had some of what Oprah calls “Ah-ha moments.” 

Instead of seeing things as separate entities in my life, I am learning not to compartmentalize and see them as interconnected. For example: I was struggling to balance the time I invested in my writing with the time I needed to play my music. My creativity felt stretched to the max and I wished there were more hours in the day so that I could accomplish both. The two different endeavors were competing for my energy. Then, I wrote a story about a musician. The plot required that he perform a song that he wrote. So, I wrote the song. A big, bright lightbulb went off over my head! I don’t always have to do one or the other – They compliment each other.

Since I’ve been learning to play the fiddle, I have been afraid to pick up my guitar. Initially, I was retraining my brain to read music for the finger and string positions, which differ from one instrument to the other. I feared it would confuse me. But the urge to play my guitar was growing stronger, like a compulsion, to the point that I dreamed I was playing. So, I caved. I picked up the guitar. It was very emotional (a topic for a whole other blog) – like suddenly seeing a close friend with whom you’d lost all contact for several years. Surprisingly, playing one instrument enhanced the other. My overall musicality increased tenfold. Who knew? I can record a song on the guitar and then play the fiddle to it. I am accompanying myself – A one man band!

So, now, I am looking for areas in my life where things appear separate but are, in fact, parts of the same vision. It’s pretty cool.

Learning new things at this point in life teaches me so much more than the obvious. This whole music lesson thing, for example. I am forced to face my preconceived notions about myself while some ingrained habits are challenged on a regular basis. I am learning to quiet the perfectionist and be vulnerable. I am willing to fail at something in order to become better at it. People have said to me, “I could never do that.” Well, here’s the thing: You can. But you have to learn to say “I can do this,” even when you don’t really believe it. I dare you to tell me that’s not a lesson that can be transferred to situations in everyday life!

Carl Jung might call it synchronicity. Chinese philosophy might say it’s yin and yang. It changes the way I see things. On a small scale, the synergy between the things I do lessens the pressure I feel about getting them all done. But it also affects the way I see my connection to the rest of the world. There’s a certain rhythm to life, if you listen closely. Seeing the big picture helps me find my own tempo and be in harmony with the universe (no pun intended). Creativity flows not only from within, but from a bigger source. It’s pretty cool, if you’re open to it. Just listen…

  

 
It’s time to come clean here. We’ve been doing a great job talking about our emotional well being and spiritual growth. We’ve read about motivating ourselves, being a fountain, having enough, filling our buckets, overcoming procrastination and being a friend. I’ve even written about Transcendentalism. But while I’ve been bursting with mysticism and overflowing with creativity, I have been neglecting my physical health a bit. You know – That whole eating well and exercising thing. Stop the eye rolls – I know it’s not as visionary or utopian as some of my other blogs. But it is as important and a big part of our daily lives. AND all that wonderful philosophy is no good if we’re not taking care of ourselves, right?

I heard that groan. But thanks for staying with me on this. I need your help. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been doing well on my own. But maintaining healthy habits is easier when you have support. When I asked for suggestions about eating breakfast, my faithful readers provided some fabulous ideas! So, here goes!

A couple of weeks before my vacation to Florida, I began walking a little, knowing that there would be lots of it at Disney World. I was out of shape and had assorted aching joints. It really helped! Not only did I walk several miles every day and keep up with everybody else, but my sore joints never felt better! (My only complaint was blisters on the bottom of my feet, which are still healing!)

In addition, I tried to eat a salad for one meal, every day, on vacation. The heat helped me with another goal: To drink lots of water! I enjoyed a few really good meals that were not the healthiest choices, as well as a couple of glasses of wine here and there. Tomorrow, I’ll find out what the scale says, but I am confident that I enjoyed my vacation without gaining any weight!

Now that I am home, I am determined to keep it up. My guest blogger, Angelina, talked about joining Weight Watchers and helping motivate one another. I’m in!

Getting back to basics always helps me focus on good decisions and block out the mind-chaos created by temptations. Eating a big salad every day is a way to ensure I’m eating my veggies. I chop all sorts of good things in the bowl – Broccoli, summer squash, peppers – just about anything! Make sure you add protein to keep you satisfied: Lean turkey breast or beans are my favorites. Olive oil makes the perfect, healthful dressing. You can add balsamic or rice vinegar, or make your own herbal vinegar!

The first thing I cooked when I got home from vacation was a big batch of Taco Soup. It’s tasty and filling, not to mention packed with protein and fiber. Start your meal with it and you’ll eat less. It makes a good snack, too.

Yesterday, I put my sneakers on and hit the road. I walked two miles! Not a marathon, by any stretch, but a good start for someone out of shape. It kicked my butt (especially the hills!) but I felt great afterward.

So, that’s how I am getting back to basics: Salad, Taco Soup and Walking. Who’s with me? Share your ideas for staying on track and I’ll check back in with you later in the week! 

Taco Soup
2 – 32oz containers low sodium chicken broth

1 packet Taco seasoning

1 packet Hidden Valley Ranch dip/dressing mix

2 – small cans Refried beans

1 – large can black beans, rinsed and drained (or kidney beans or any combination of beans)

1 – large can petite diced tomatoes

2 cups corn, frozen or canned

Optional: Chopped chicken breast (Makes it more of a meal, by itself)

1. Over medium heat, warm broth and whisk in the 2 seasoning packets
2. Add the Refried beans and break apart with the whisk or a wooden spoon
3. Add the remaining Ingredients and heat through 
4. Enjoy!

  

In case you’ve been under a rock this week or somehow managed to miss my obnoxious multi-level  social media posting, I am on vacation! Not just any vacation – I am experiencing the magic of Disney! My feet have the blisters to prove it!

For someone who hates crowded places almost as much as standing in line, Disney World is a special kind of Hell. (And, on a couple of days, it was nearly as hot.) Did I mention that I suffer from motion sickness and cannot even ride in the backseat of a car? I get dizzy just watching most of the rides. And who goes on vacation with their ex-husband, anyway?  (I won’t even mention the nine hours in the airport on the way here due to mechanical failures, flight cancellation, etc…)

Vacations are wonderful, fun events that we plan and anticipate with great care. They are also exhausting and stressful. Six people spending endless hours together can be pretty challenging, especially when you’re all hot, hungry and tired. Personally, I really enjoy my alone time. I need it. This week, I’ve had to settle for a few blissful moments when I was swimming underwater and nobody could talk to me. 

Yet, this has been a week that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Watching my grandson, Spencer, celebrate his 9th birthday Disney style was just not something I was willing to miss. The fact that he could do so surrounded by the very people who Love him the most was, well, magical. 

The five adults in his entourage endured long lines for high speed roller coasters that turned upside down in complete darkness before dumping us out into gift shops where we purchased ridiculously priced magic wands and light sabers. Our tired, sore muscles and blistered feet arrived home at night too late for the hot tub. We depleted both our energy and our bank accounts. But we’re still smiling. 

I sat on rides or at dinner between my husband and my ex-husband; between my daughter and her step-mother. And I realized that we are unique. It’s not that we don’t have differences – We do. We just choose not to focus on them. Instead, we gather around our sameness – that being our children and, in this case, our grandson.

There have been many times when I was grateful for the friendship we share, like when one of the kids was hospitalized. Rather than rebuff their stepmother, I relied on her. It was so much easier. 

We had a lot of practice when our kids were growing up and we didn’t always get it right. But Spencer has given us another chance. I’m proud of us for being able to grow and move forward; to be able to share the good times as well as the hard times.

Today is our last day in Florida. We’re taking it easy. No more nauseating rides, screaming toddlers or long waiting times. I think we’ve earned it. But I’d do it all again, in a heartbeat. That’s what Love is all about.

  

This is the last (but not least!) of my Guest Blogs this week! My good friend, Connie Lepine, is one of the most positive people I’ve ever known. In her very first-ever blog, she shares some tips with us about remaining positive. Thanks, Con!

 

We all want to “feel good,” don’t we? We might say to ourselves, “I’m going to be happy. I’m going to smile a lot. I’m going to count my blessings. I’m going to look for reasons to feel good. I’m going to look for positive things from the past. I’m going to look for positive things with my life as it is now. I’m going to look for positive things in the future. Nothing is more important than that you “feel good!” And you have absolute and utter control about that because you can choose the thought that makes you worry or the thought that makes you happy. You have the choice in every moment.

 

“Feeling good” can come about with The Law of Attraction. Simply put, the Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe – one of which being the Law of Attraction. It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. If you focus on negative doom and gloom you will remain under that “black cloud” lurking over your head. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them.

  

  

I have a few ways of “feel good” armor to share with you. One way I “feel good” is by doing “positive self-talk.” What is positive self-talk you may ask? The definition states” anything said to oneself for encouragement or motivation, such as phrases or mantras; also, one’s constant internal conversation.” Self talk influences how you feel and behave. What goes in, must come out, right? So what I feed myself emotionally will be exemplified in the things I do and in the things I say.

 

Another way I can “feel good” is to put small “feel good” notes everywhere I look. Visuals play an important part in our minds and work! Put a “feel good” sign in the bathroom to see first thing when you get up in the morning, in the kitchen, livingroom, car, office, at work, as you open the door, all over! I used to think people would think I was crazy for doing this, but I am not doing it for “people,” I am doing it for me! 

We all have positive and negative events in our lives. Self-talk can affect your perspective. It can boost you up or take you down. A common negative self-talk involves telling yourself “I can’t”. When you say to yourself “I can’t” or “it is too difficult”, you are creating a resistance. Having such a mental block will prevent you from achieving a task you could otherwise succeed at. Anytime you catch yourself saying “I can’t…”, turn around and challenge yourself with, “Why can’t I?” A great method that I have also found useful is to say “Cancel Cancel” each time I find myself saying something negative, whether in the mind or verbally.

Another helpful “feel good” armor is to concentrate on steps you can take in the present. If I find myself becoming stuck, I stop and say, “What can I do right now?” Change your internal talk from a future anxiety ridden one to one that is about the more manageable present. I cannot control what will happen in the future but I can take the necessary steps now that will build a better tomorrow. People who focus on the present and appreciate what they have today are more happy, energetic, and hopeful. Happiness opens your mind to new possibilities, creative thinking, and interest in social situations. Happier thoughts could give you fewer things to feel bad about.

So choose to fill your mind with positive images and thoughts. Learn to accentuate the positive and feel empowered. Make it a conscious habit. The process of shifting your thoughts and language is a lot like getting yourself in shape. If your muscles haven’t been worked in a while it’s going to be uncomfortable at first. But over time, negative words can take on the quality of a worn-in comfy pair of jeans — they just seem to fit. With practice it’ll get easier and easier. Trust me on this! You will experience an improvement in the quality of your life and “feel good.”  

Look at it this way. When you are making the best of something, no matter how bad it is, it’s got to get better. And as it gets a little better, and you still make the best of it, it’s got to get better. And as it’s still not very good, but you’re making the best of it–it’s got to get better. My encouragement to you is that you make a decision today and practice every day. Now, repeat after me, “Today is going to be a great day and I know I’m a winner!”                     

  

Welcome to our next guest blogger, a very good friend with a sharp wit who will be known here as Angelina Jolie…
 

So I joined weight watchers last night. Again. I can’t count how many times I have done this in my life but I am not going into it with a very positive attitude. Weight Watchers has always seemed to me to be the healthiest way to lose weight and to live. It just makes sense; there is nothing crazy to affect my internal organs or send me into ketosis, whatever that is. It is just a way of looking at food , knowing what nutrients it contains and creating a balance in order to lose weight or to simply maintain a healthy lifestyle. 
Having said that , now I will tell you why I hate it. When I am on Weight Watchers all I think about is food. How many points does it have? How much should I eat? How do I get variety in my diet ? I should stop here and clarify a couple of things. I hate to cook and I hate to grocery shop. A couple of disadvantages when changing from my normal lifestyle of either eating out or not eating because there is no food in my house, to planning, counting, measuring, shopping, portioning and the dreaded cooking. 

All day long, I have to look at food as points, not sustenance. I have to plan, not just a day, but what I am going to shop for, cook and eat, for a week!! How do I know what I am going to feel like eating on Wednesday as I plan my meals and shopping on Sunday? And yet I know that people, one very best friend of mine in particular, who is on vacation as I screw up her blog, who are masters at this and follow the plan with great success. 

So I paid the money to join. Online. I cannot sit in a meeting with a group of people who are that positive and bubbly about, well just about everything. I cannot applaud that much in an hour. I cannot get excited about a sticker. And I have never found a person with whom I could sit and bitch (can I say that?) under our breaths about how much we hate our lives on Weight Watchers. 

So I did some research of my own and found this:

6 Steps to Sleeping the Weight Off

How Gaining Sleep Can Help You Lose Weight
Last Updated: Aug 16, 2013 | By Elizabeth Hurchalla from Livestrong.com
Overview
What if you were told that there’s an effective weight loss method that costs nothing and doesn’t require you to change your diet or exercise? 

What if you were told that you could lose weight while you sleep? And that sleep itself — not some magic fitness contraption — is one of the best-kept weight loss secrets? Saying that people who sleep more end up eating less (and being less hungry) might be oversimplifying a little too much, but in essence, that’s what multiple studies have found. 

Two studies have shown a link between sleep deprivation and a propensity to gain weight. In a study published in 2012, “Short Sleep Duration, Glucose Dysregulation and Hormonal Regulation of Appetite in Men and Women,” participants consumed over 300 more calories a day after four hours of sleep than after nine hours of sleep. “That could translate into 31 pounds a year,” says Kelly Plowe, R.D.

Okay. Now we’re talking. The only counting is how many hours you sleep and how many pounds you lose! Except…..Did I tell you that I have this thing that prohibits me from sleeping more than 1-2 hours at a time and that I average 4 hours of sleep a night?
So off I will go to the grocery store with my recipes and my list and my plans and my points counted. And then I will sit and cheer “WooHoo” for every person who managed to lose an ounce and I will treasure my hard earned stickers. And I will lose weight and be healthy. With a little help from my friend. 
  

Today’s guest blogger is a friend and also a member of my Writer’s Group. She is the author of The Ferry Home, a memoir about growing up on Prudence Island.  Her book is available from Amazon! Thank you, Debbie Kaiman Tillinghast! 
  
​​​

​April invariably elicits wistful memories for me, since it is the not only the month of my birthday but also that of my oldest son and my only granddaughter. Three generations of birthday thoughts tumble through my mind as each birthday transpires, one at the beginning, one in the middle and one at the end of the month.

​Birthdays were always special days in our family. I remember when I was a little girl, my dad would wake me with a Happy Birthday wish along with a dollop of butter on my nose. Sometimes he would wait for an unsuspecting moment when I thought he had forgotten, perhaps as I was eating breakfast. Suddenly he would be there, smearing my nose with the greasy, yellow blob, so I would slide through the next year with good luck. I tried to continue the butter tradition with my three sons. Although their response was sometimes, “Oh, Mom,” I liked to think that they secretly enjoyed it when they woke on their birthday, and I was waiting to add a touch of butter to their day.  

​Birthdays imparted the privilege of choosing not only the birthday cake served for dessert, but also the menu for dinner. I usually chose steak as the main course when I was seven or eight, but as I got older lobster became my favorite. I was fond of both but they were seldom on the dinner menu when I was young. A vegetable was also required, and my choice was asparagus; that paired with lobster would still be my perfect meal today.

​The birthday cake was the highlight of dinner, but I often chose my mother’s Chocolate Coconut Chiffon Ring, instead of cake. It was a chilled dessert made with gelatin then frosted with chocolate whipped cream and sprinkled with coconut. Sometimes we would have it as a treat for Sunday dinner when the minister and his family joined us, but it always disappeared too quickly. If I chose it as my birthday cake I not only got the first piece but also any leftovers.

​I made Cookie Monster and Pink Panther cakes for my children when they were little, but when they were older they preferred to choose a design from my cake decorating books. My oldest son chose a typewriter cake one year and another year I made him a chess board. My grandchildren continue to request unusual cakes including manatees, wolves and fire breathing dragons. The flavor of choice for my children was always chocolate. In recent years there have been requests for a “healthier” birthday cake. (Is that an oxymoron?) I complied with a pumpkin spice cake made with whole wheat flour and reduced fat and sugar, but still yummy.

​Occasionally, a treasure hunt added an extra level of excitement to our birthday celebration. Before we could open our presents, we first had to follow a trail of clues to the appointed hiding place. My mother was a master designer of these quests, often based on nursery rhymes, and they would lead us through the house and even outside. Ultimately, we discovered our presents by solving the final clue. A variety of hiding places could correlate to any given hint; “Hickory, Dickory, Dock!” required an investigation of every clock in the house. It was always more fun to search for my presents than have them piled in front of me. One year the last clue was “Rub-a-dub-dub, Three Men in a Tub,” and I found my presents hidden in the washing machine!

 
Chocolate Coconut Chiffon Ring

1 envelope plain gelatin

1 1/2 c cold milk

2/3 c sugar, divided

1/4 tsp. salt

2 oz. unsweetened chocolate

3 egg yolks, lightly beaten

3 egg whites, stiffly beaten *(see note)

1 tsp. vanilla

1 4 oz package sweetened coconut, divided

1/2 c whipping cream

3 Tbsp. sweetened cocoa mix

 

1. Soften gelatin in milk. Add 1/3 c sugar, salt and chocolate.
2. Cook over hot water until gelatin is dissolved and chocolate is melted. 
3. Beat until blended, then pour slowly over beaten egg yolks, stirring constantly. 
4. Return to heat, cook and stir 3 more minutes; cool 10 minutes. 
5. Meanwhile beat egg whites until they begin to stiffen, then gradually beat in 1/3 c sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. 
6. Fold in chocolate mixture, vanilla and 1/2 the coconut.
7. Turn into 1 quart ring mold. 
8. Chill until firm, several hours or overnight. 
9. Unmold on serving plate. 
10. Beat cream with cocoa until stiff. Spread over top and sides of dessert. 
11. Sprinkle with remaining coconut.

 

*Note: This recipe contains raw egg whites, I use pasteurized egg white powder instead. Follow directions on pkg. for reconstituting.

 Today’s Guest Blogger is my good friend, Carmen Lepine!  Please show her some love for being such an honest, courageous and fabulous young woman. Thank you, Carmen!

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At one point or another, I believe we’ve all experienced a “bad hair day”. Some feel that a bad hair day is a cause for a bad day in general. What if I told you, though, that a lot of people experience bad hair lives? 

For about sixteen years, I was leading a bad hair life with a little known disorder called Trichotillomania or “trich” for short. It’s defined as the repetitive pulling out of one’s own hair. It is part of a group of behaviors called BFRBs, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors in which people pull, pick and bite their own hair, skin or nails which result in damage. People pull from various locations on the body, with the scalp being at the top of the list, followed by eyebrows, eyelashes, etc. It is such a complex disorder and has only recently started to become understood. It is gaining headway in the media. There are numerous online articles and there will be a new documentary called “Trichster” that is being released to iTunes in the middle of April.

​Some say trich results from a grooming gene that has gone awry. A lot of animals engage in these behaviors, like apes and monkeys that will pull hair or pick insects off themselves or others. Birds pluck their feathers and dogs and cats might lick or bite an area of their body to the point of bald spots. People see this in animals and they feel bad, but when it is seen in other people it becomes a whole new ball game and we are all of a sudden crazy and flawed. Unfortunately, this is how I felt about myself. There was something seriously wrong with me and I just didn’t belong. I felt like I was the only one with this problem, not realizing, back when I was 13, that I wasn’t alone and 2 in 50 people had this same disorder.

​One of the biggest questions I get is “Doesn’t it hurt?”. Believe it or not, it doesn’t hurt physically, but mentally it is painful. There is so much shame and guilt involved with this condition. It is very limiting as well. My scalp was at one point 80% bald. I covered it up with hair building fibers called Toppik. While others were spending time putting on makeup in the morning, I was spending time covering up bald spots. I wore a wig at one point for about a year. I hated bright lights, snow, wind and rain. Rollercoasters and swimming pools were not my friends. I couldn’t even lay my head down on a pillow at night fearing my bald spots would show in the morning. Relationships were out of my realm of possibility. I basically lived my life in fear. I did not want anyone to know I was doing this to myself. This was until about six years ago when I decided enough was enough and sought help and, in doing so, has helped me recover.

​I can proudly say that I have been pull free for about a year and a half. It’s an incredible feat considering I couldn’t even go one minute without pulling my hair. I now have a full head of very thick hair. How did I do it? There is certainly no one magic pill that did the trick. It was a combination of a lot of things that helped me. I had the support from family and friends knowing that they would still love me regardless of whether I was bald or not. I tried different medications and have finally found one that is helping. I have been to a few support groups, retreats and conferences specifically about trich which helped me gain a better understanding of it and helped me realize that I’m not alone in this fight. I’ve been in therapy for the past six years. It has helped me talk about my feelings and gain all the tools I need to cope with trich as well as anxiety and depression. Last but not least, I overcame this disorder with an extreme amount of my own hard work. Above all things, I had to have the willingness to change, a positive attitude, strength and perseverance. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it!
  
​I know that I will always have trich until there’s a cure. It’s a matter of whether I choose to pull or not at any given time. For now, I am grateful for the freedom and try not to take it for granted. I relish the pouring rain, while others think they’re melting. I let the wind blow my hair around and don’t care if it’s messy. I dive into swimming pools instead of just floating. I wear hats now to keep the sun out of my eyes instead of hiding my head. There is nothing I love more than resting my head on my pillow and waking up with bed head. That’s a “good hair day” in my book.