I am in the waiting room
between what was and what will be.
Toxic flames now smoldering
Hazy tendrils rise around me.
Ebb and flow of pain diminish,
soothing nerves, no longer raw.
My life scattered at my feet
like the pieces of a jigsaw.
Some people go through life as if they are following a map. They know what they want, early on, and doors seem to open for them, whether it’s career, marriage, home, vacations or family. Not to say it happens easily – Often, they are self-actualized at a young age and have a quiet, but fierce, determination.
Then, are those who wander through the years, searching for purpose, waiting for the plan to be revealed. Some become world travelers, others emotional tourists, putting down only temporary roots before moving on to the next adventure. They change careers, go back to school, sell their homes. They never appear to be completely satisfied with their circumstances. Perhaps they are discontent on a level too deep for the rest of us to see.
Then are those who have a plan, who try to follow their dreams. But they get derailed along the way. I am fond of saying that the universe gives you what you need, if only you pay attention. But sometimes, the universe gives you the finger. So it seems, at least. Or does it? Maybe the map you’re following isn’t the right one. Perhaps you are settling for something less than your true potential. Conceivably, you are bargaining away a piece of your happiness for the life you thought you wanted. Possibly, God just has a different path for you.
I’ve known people who have “lost everything.” I don’t really think that’s possible. Because, when you have nothing, is the exact moment when you have the thing most people crave: Possibility. Opportunity. A blank page. A clean slate.
Acceptance is required, of course. Letting go of the past is not easy. You must allow yourself to grieve the losses. It takes time to mourn the material things as well as your hopes and dreams for the future. It strips you down to your core.
But there are always lessons. We are never too old to learn things about ourselves. We can sort through the ashes and take only what we truly cherish. We can clean them up and polish them so that they sparkle like new. Courage. Resilience. Tenacity. Let them shine brightly and be the beacons that lead you to the magic of new beginnings.