In April, I will be on vacation for a week. Realistically, there will not be time for me to write every day. I might manage one or two quick blogs, at best. In an effort to avoid losing momentum, I am looking for guest bloggers who might want to contribute by providing a day’s blog during that week. 

You can write about anything that interests you: It can be something personal, like a self improvement journey you’ve been on or something you have overcome. It can be a movie or book review. You can share observations about just about anything! Use facts, opinions, humor, sarcasm…. Whatever suits you. I only ask that you not write any political rants. There are enough of those online and just about everywhere else. While they are often informative and sometimes humorous, they can also be devisive and upsetting. My goal here is to write things that are helpful, positive or fun.

If you are interested, please let me know. I’d need your guest blog by April 6. I’ll use guest blogs the following week, beginning April 11. If you are not a confident writer, I am happy to edit the piece for you. I will also be willing to look a graphic, photo, cartoon or other art work – Just let me know when you submit your blog and I’ll take care of it!

We’re approaching the three-month anniversary of Blog by Babs! I am proud of myself for finally getting into the daily habit of writing. That’s no easy feat for a procrastinator like me! Blogging has been fulfilling, on a personal level. My followers – yes, YOU – have exceeded by expectations. THANK YOU for your awesome feedback, suggestions and comments. I really appreciate your reading my blog and participating in the process!

My hope is to continue writing in a manner that encourages sharing of experiences and information. Guest blogs will go along way to that end! Thanks again, faithful readers!

On another note, I am trying out some new recipes for Easter this year! I’ll share a few of them now. Have a wonderful weekend!

 Crockpot Ham

  

   

 

  

  
Yesterday, I wrote about some of the reasons I procrastinate. Judging from your feedback, I am not the only one. I’d suggest we form a support group, but we’d probably never get around to meeting…. 

I did a little research but found little that was helpful. Meditation, cute little posters and positive self-talk? Blah, blah, blah. To me, that sounds like more ways to put off getting things done! Instead, let’s look at some practical things we can do to help ourselves.
  
Make a list. This helps me focus on what really needs to happen. If you do it the night before, you’ll avoid following some whim in the morning. Like this: “Ooooo! There’s a Law & Order marathon on today! But wait – My calendar says I need to grocery shop or there will be no food for the weekend, when the family is coming for dinner.”
Plan rewards. Make that trip to the grocery store and pick up something for lunch. Put everything away and then kick back with lunch and catch one rerun of Benson & Stabler.
Do not multi-task. This is an invitation to procrastinate because it creates distraction from the thing you really want to check off your list. Concentrate on one task at a time and complete it before starting another. 
Do the big task first. If I dilly-dally over several small things but avoid something important, I’m going to feel dissatisfied at the end of the day. However, if I accomplish the big job, I have a sense of accomplishment and I’m usually motivated to do the rest. 
Just get started! The longer I put something off, the harder it is to do. (If I can move it from today’s list to tomorrow’s, then it can’t be that important!) On the other hand, I know that, once I get started, I’ll get into it and enjoy myself. Yesterday, I was procrastinating about practicing the fiddle. Finally, I made a deal with myself to practice for thirty minutes. I ended up playing for two-and-a-half hours! 
Let go of the guilt! Some days are easier than others. We’re not perfect, after all. If you give in to binge-watching Law & Order today, vow to do better tomorrow. Don’t let it throw you off course! Progress is still possible and a much better goal than perfection!

  

Monday thru Friday, the very top of my list says “blog” and that’s usually what I do, with my second cup of coffee (You wouldn’t want to see any thoughts that might emerge before caffeine!) I am proud to report that it has been working for nearly three months. Now that I can check it off today’s list…

Now, Where’s the tv remote….
  

  

I procrastinate, therefore I am a procrastinator. Lately, I’ve been wondering: Does it necessarily have to be a bad thing? I mean, after all, the word itself begins with ‘pro,’ which is usually a good thing, right? 

Just for fun, I looked up definitions of the word. Without exception, they were negative and used words like lazy, missed opportunity and my least favorite in the English language: Should. As in, to delay a task that should be done. Ugh. 

According to Scientific American, “Procrastination is a well-known and serious behavioral problem involving both practical and psychological implications.” Yikes! It’s worse than I thought! 

Still hopeful, I searched for the definition of crastinate. The results were less than scintillating. What I did find was an article about pre-castination, the opposite of procrastination, or the inclination to complete tasks quickly just for the sake of getting it done sooner than required. For example, you might answer an eMail immediately and fail to think about your reply. Later, a better response might occur to you, but it’s too late. (An old adage comes to mind here: Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.)

  
Both terms were apparently derived from ‘crastinus,’ which means belonging to tomorrow. That almost sounds romantic. Maybe I’m getting somewhere..

I am a habitual offender. My personal history of procrastination began as a child. My parents used to joke that my mantra, when chastised for not doing something, was “I was gonna.” (New England speak for I was going to.) In college, I once wrote a semester-long independent study term paper, in its entirety, the night before it was due. I was rewarded with a good grade, which only solidified my claim that “I’m good under pressure.”

Everyone procrastinates sometimes. Honestly, what is at the root of our procrastinating and what makes some of us chronic offenders? 

1. Feeling overwhelmed was a good reason, when I was still working. The ever-growing and changing list of demands would sometimes render me paralyzed. I would take the time to organize my tasks and make a list, scheduling each thing in order of importance. It really helped me to feel in control, even if I wasn’t. It lessened the feeling that I could not possibly get everything done.
2. Being a perfectionist leads to putting off a task because you fear doing it badly. Sometimes, you need time to think about or plan something that is important. But you need to be careful not to apply this principle to everything that needs doing.
3. Fear. It might be something new that you’ve never tried before. Perhaps it’s something you’ve done previously, but were dissatisfied with your results. 
4. Emotional issues. Not to get all touchy-feely, but there might be a more deeply hidden reason that you just can’t get started on a task. We all have that inner critic. Listen closely to see if that little voice is self-sabotaging. Then tell her to shut up.
5. Distractions. Often, I have to leave home to write. Concentration can be difficult when I’m surrounded by laundry, cleaning, gardening and bills/correspondence. All of which are undesirable, by the way, but suddenly more appealing when I procrastinate. The dog needs to go out, the telephone rings. You get the picture. None of those things exist at Panera or Starbucks.

So, now I understand some of the reasons I procrastinate. Next, I’ll figure out what to do about it. But not right now. Maybe tomorrow. I think the bird feeders are empty…

  

  
There is something about the morning sunlight this time of year that feels magical. In the final weeks of winter, I can always sense a subtle change. The sun rises a little further east. The birds begin to call a different tune. The earth is slowly stretching, her breathing more shallow as she prepares to awaken. Then – It’s spring!

The season officially changes when the day and night are of equal length. The earth’s axis, while never completely perpendicular to the sun, is as near to zero as it ever gets. If you checked the times for sunrise and sunset, you were disappointed to see they were not exactly 12 hours apart. That’s because of the way they are measured. Sunrise begins the moment the sun first peeks over the horizon, while sunset is the moment when the last of the sun sinks below the horizon. Equinox, which means “equal night,” is measured when the center of the sun is at the horizon. 

It is said that spring equinox is the only day when an egg will stand on its end. Many have tested this and report it to be untrue. Some eggs will stand on their end, regardless of the date, so you might get lucky! 

Easter is early this year. Traditionally, Easter is the first Sunday following the first full moon after the Equinox. We’ll have a full moon this week, Wednesday or Thursday (depending on where you live). The egg will be prominent in many of our homes as we celebrate Easter. It has become a symbol of new life, making it perfect for both springtime and Easter celebrations.

When I was growing up, I remember that my mother would not eat eggs on Good Friday. She believed that eggs were thrown at Jesus as he was crucified. Another egg story is that the phoenix refused to eat from the forbidden tree in the Garden of Eden. Every 500 years, the bird is said to create a nest of herbs and spices. Sitting on the nest, it lights itself on fire. afterward, an egg – laid by the phoenix – is discovered among the ashes. When the egg hatches, the phoenix emerges, resurrected.

Ancient cultures, including Egyptians, Romans and Chinese, embraced the egg as a symbol of the universe. The word “Easter” is derived from the Old English word for “east.” A pagan spring festival originated from the Latin root for the word “dawn.” Dawn begins in the east, and both Easter and springtime mark new beginnings.

In pre-Christian Europe, Anglo-­Saxons worshipped Eostre (or Ostara), the moon goddess of spring and fertility. She was always portrayed as standing among spring flowers and holding an egg in her hand. Her sacred animal was the hare, which laid eggs to honor her and encourage her fruitfulness.

The Druid goddess of fertility was Blodeuwedd. She was the first of a long line of Flower Women worshiped by the Celts. Her face and hair were portrayed in spring flowers and patches of white clover bloomed in her wake. She was the goddess of fertility and dawn.

Later, Christians adapted many pagan traditions and symbols for their own celebration of Jesus’ resurrection. Eggs were one of the foods forbidden during the forty-days of Lenten fasting and penitence. When that ends, on Easter Sunday, eggs are still plentiful in our homes.  

There are many tales to explain why we color eggs at Easter. One of my favorites is a Polish legend that tells of the Virgin Mary delivering eggs to the soldiers at the cross, begging them to be kind to Jesus. As she wept, her tears fell on the eggs and turned them into brilliant colors. In another version, Mary Magdalene brought eggs with her, for a meal, when she went to the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus. When she uncovered the eggs, the white shells had taken on the colors of the rainbow.

Whatever your traditions, there is much to be celebrated this week: The vernal equinox, spring’s arrival, the full moon, Holy Week and, of course, Easter! So, plant some seeds, buy some flowers, color some eggs! Honor new beginnings by enjoying longer days. Feed the birds and listen to the peep toads. There is no better time for starting something new! Gather your loved ones close and share whatever customs you practice. Happy spring!

  

 

You can learn a lot from spending time on a farm.
I spend one or two weekends on a farm in New Hampshire every year. It’s a country dance event and one of the best times of my life.

Nowhere is the cycle of life more evident than in the barn, where babies are born. Some do not survive and there is nothing that can be done about it. Those that grow strong serve a variety of purposes. Some are used for food, some are bred to produce more babies. Others work to sustain the farm. Yet, all are treated equally, with caring and respect. Goats, sheep, pigs, cows, horses, chickens and bunnies share space in the same barn: Some require fences, others cages, pens and stalls. Each respects the other’s living areas.

 

Everyone does their job: Farm hands clean the stalls, groom and feed the animals. Chickens provide eggs. Horses work and entertain. Cows and goats give milk. Sheep provide wool. Everything has a purpose.

 

Humans and animals alike have faith. Knowing that the sun will rise and there will be food to eat leads to a good night’s rest. Even if you’re only there for a couple of days, the beating of your heart synchronizes to the natural rhythm of life on a farm.

 

In the house, there is magic. The main inn, where I usually stay, has simple, comfortable rooms. There are no televisions or phones. Internet service is spotty at best. People are often strangers or arrive knowing only a few. Yet, one might walk through the living room and never guess. Gathered by a crackling fire, there is story telling. There is sharing. There are sing-a-longs. Always, there is laughter.

 

Meals are also shared, served family style. One often needs to shout to be heard over the raucous of conversation, laughter and, yes, more singing. Young and old sit together. New friendships are initiated, old bonds are fortified. Individual quirks are accepted and even celebrated!

 

Of course, we come to dance. Whether you’ve never tried a single step or have been dancing most of your life, there is room for you on the dance floor. Everyone is accommodated. Everybody is welcomed. Everyone is accepted.

 

We achieve the perfect balance on the farm: Hard work, good food, ample playtime and sound sleep. There is much laughter, singing and tolerance. And, of course, we dance.

 

If only life could remain so perfect.

   
I recently read a great article that tied together some of the things we’ve discussed here. Earlier this week, I wrote about forgiveness and it was well received. But it lacked a concrete ‘How to’ summary. Today is about how to take action and practice forgiveness – instead of just reading (or thinking) about it. Again, the same principles apply to forgiving ourselves. I think this can be the most difficult of all: Perhaps because the dialog is mostly internal and we can all be our own worst enemy. So, how do we begin to make all those nice theories, blogs and memes a reality? Here are some ideas. 
First, we need to make the decision to forgive. It is a choice and it’s available to anybody. You may think, “But I’m not ready.” That might be true. But read this anyway and become familiar with the process. It’s not something we’ll achieve overnight. Plant the seeds of forgiveness now. 

Acknowledge that you might be afraid of what comes next. Sometimes, we allow the hurt to define us or, at least, it becomes a part of who we are. If we’re not that victim, then who are we? What excuse will we have for not moving on and risk it happening again? What will we talk about? How will we feel, of there’s no self-pity? Are you using the hurt to stay where you feel safe because you fear you’ll be hurt again? If so, that fear is holding you back from experiencing great things. 

Stop telling the story. If we talk about it or think about it, we give it power. You cannot move forward if you are living in the past. Ban it from your conversations – including the internal ones. When you find yourself going there, change the subject or think about something else, like how lucky you are for some completely unrelated reason. First, you may need to get it all out one last time. You can do this by processing it with a trusted friend or partner. Or, you can journal about it. Put it all on paper, for your eyes only. Then vow not to dwell on it again. Ever.

Accept that you are human and that you’ve made a mistake – particularly if you are trying to forgive yourself for something. Chances are pretty good that you’ve learned a lesson from the experience and that’s a GOOD thing! Everybody makes mistakes – why should you be any different? Rather than be surprised or angry to find that you’re not perfect, embrace the freedom of not having to know everything. Learn from it. Grow. (It’s also called L I F E).
Find a positive outlet for the energy that comes with anger. If you’re still feeling upset, don’t reach for the wine or the pint of ice cream. Talk a fast walk. Rake leaves. Pull weeds. Clean a closet. You’ll feel better and you’ll also have accomplished something!

Finally, don’t take yourself too seriously. Practice random acts of kindness. Doing things for others gets us outside of ourselves, to focus on the external. It will also make you feel better about yourself. In other words: Get over it!

Remember – Forgiveness does not negate the act, nor does it absolve the offender of their behavior. They still own that. Forgiveness is what we do to free ourselves of the transgression so that it no longer has power over us. Don’t you deserve that?

  

  

During the past few months, I have met some pretty extraordinary women. Most of them are members of some new / different writing groups that I’ve attended. While my writing is fiction (except for this blog), the majority of the people I’ve met at these groups are writing memoirs. What stories they have to tell! All of them are writing as much to heal themselves as to help others. All of them reported that it was successful.

You might not have survived trauma as significant as some of my new writing friends. But who among us has not suffered some hurtful injustice? Even the best childhood was fraught with emotional injury, especially by today’s standards. The road to adulthood is a bumpy one and there have been decisions that we regret, losses we’ve endured and low moments along the way. We’d all like a do-over, but that’s impossible. Or is it? Why not rewrite your life with a new ending?! 

Let’s not forget the good things! No matter what’s happening in your life, you can always find something for which to be grateful. It only takes a few minutes a day to write it down. Then, when you’re having a difficult time, it will be there for you to read again to remind yourself of the many blessings you’ve received.

Writing it all down is therapeutic. Best of all, it’s free. You can do it anywhere, anytime. Several studies have indicated that writing about traumatic, emotional and stressful events leads to improved physical and mental health. It can even help you sleep better. 

Journaling gives you a safe outlet for emotional issues. It documents your life for future reference, whether you keep it to yourself or decide to share it. It gives you perspective and balance because, once you get it all out, you are free to move forward.

Many people keep a gratitude diary. Each day, they jot down something they appreciate or for which they are grateful. It helps keep them positive. In a world where we are constantly barraged with bad news and conflict, it’s a great way to focus on the good stuff.

You don’t have to be a strong writer. Unless you’re going to publish it, like on a blog site, there’s no need to edit or fret over punctuation and grammar. The end result is not the goal – it’s all about the process.  

If you want to give journaling a try, think about how and where you want to record your thoughts, feelings and ideas. I’m pretty attached to my iPad and prefer to write and store entries electronically. There are some user friendly diary apps available, if that appeals to you. There is something to be said for the traditional pen and paper as meditation. It’s fun to choose from the variety of pretty, blank books available. Of course, there’s blogging! If you want to share your experiences with like-minded readers, there is a place for you online. There are a lot of opportunities for support and education on the Internet.

Dear Diary,

What will you write about?

  

Today I am answering some of the questions that have come my way from followers… Hmmm, that sounds like I’m a cult leader. Try again: Today I’ll be answering questions from readers, like you! Since interviews are boring, I’ll include a recipe or a nice quote at the end (I’m resorting to bribery…).

Interview with a Blogger (Me!)

Why do you have a blog or What made you start a blog?

As long as I can remember, I have loved writing. While it came in handy to in college, it was only recently that I began writing seriously, for pleasure. It is strongly recommended that one write every day – something to which I just couldn’t commit. Until now. The blog gets me writing every morning, Monday thru Friday. Amazingly, it has resulted in my writing even more and I have several projects going now.
Also, individuals have always sought me out for ideas or support. This has given me the confidence to offer such to a wider audience. It’s trendy to be a Life Coach and this is my way of doing so without taking classes or being certified.

How do you know what to write about?

Apparently, there is a lot going on inside my head. When I started out, I worried that I would run out of material. I guess I have a lot to say! Some mornings, I have a plan or an outline of what I’m going to write. However, it doesn’t always go as planned and I often end up writing something completely arbitrary. Also, some of you have offered suggestions that I really liked and I have used them as blog topics!

How long does it take you to write a blog?

If it’s information that I need to read up on first, it takes longer. If I am just writing from the heart, it’s faster – usually about 30-45 minutes. Ironically, those are my most popular blogs and the ones that garner the most comments. I’ve spent hours researching and writing informative pieces that attracted two readers. Go figure.

What is your blog about?

The specific subject matter varies. The common theme would be how to be the best version of yourself or how to live your best life. I’ve touched on nutrition & natural remedies, good food, music, playtime, mental health issues, happiness, forgiveness, managing your time, organizing, walking away from toxic people and an array of other things. Occasionally, I throw out an informative piece about a current event or holiday.

How do you know that if anyone reads it?

Well, if I see you in the grocery store and you refuse to make eye contact…. Just kidding! I don’t know who reads the blog, unless you leave a comment. I do receive a notification when you sign up to follow me (still sounds creepy). My website provides stats for each individual blog so that I know how many people visited (and hopefully read it).

Why can’t I leave a comment?

I have no clue. Most people can but a few people have told me that they are unable to do so. I suspect it’s some kind of conflict between your computer/device and WordPress. It is frustrating because your feedback is very important to me. Please feel free to eMail me, contact me thru Facebook, send a smoke signal or hire a carrier pigeon if there is something you want to say!!

Now, for the good stuff!

This would be a great place to use Turmeric! Just add it to the curry powder.

Easy Overnight Chicken

 
And, as promised, a cheesy quote that I swiped from the Internet.

    

  

In case you missed it, March 9th was National Get Over It Day. I had no idea there was such a thing but would gladly have celebrated. You’ll understand why I never pursued further license and certification to become a therapist, since this would often be by best advice. Some call it reality therapy. I call it, well, Get Over It.

Before you jump to the conclusion that I am a cold hearted curmudgeon with no compassion for people in pain, let me say this: There are some among us (far too many) who are fighting a real battle that they would give anything to get over. If you or someone you love are one of them, I wish you Godspeed, comfort and healing. Sometimes, you can’t get over it and you have to set your sights on getting through it.

  
The rest of us, however, need to get over it. Having a national holiday to encourage us to do so is not such a bad idea. There is strength in numbers! Sometimes, it takes this kind of attention to recognize something that’s holding us back – and open our eyes to the suggestion that we can get over it! It could be cathartic!

What is it that you need to get over? Is heartbreak keeping you from finding love? Did a bad investment sour you and leave you financially crippled? Are you still steaming over a remark a family member made at Christmas? Did a coworker diss your work in front of others? GET OVER IT. These are the kinds of things that can wear on us and bring us down. They hold us back from enjoying better things that life has to offer. 

If you are pathetic enough to be a chronic complainer about things you cannot change (i.e. Another’s behavior in the past or even your own) then imagine what it’s like to be around you! I’m willing to bet that I am not the first to mutter the words: Get over it. (But I may be the first to do it to your face.)

So, what injustice is stuck in your craw and making you mad? What do you need to move past to get to where you want to be? Getting over it may sound easy but that’s not always the case.

1. The next time you find yourself ruminating about it, stop and, instead, think about something for which you are grateful. 
2.  If you need help, seek out someone you trust and talk it out. 
3.  If you need more than that, there are therapists out there who subscribe to a gentler approach than I. 

Even though we are a week late getting to the gate, there is always time to make changes for the better. If something is holding you back, please join me in the celebration of this treasured national holiday. And…. For the love of God…… Get over it!

  

  

  
Our bodies produce vitamin D by absorbing sunlight through our skin. If you live someplace like New England, that might be more of an issue in winter than in summer. As technology advances, we spend more and more time indoors and our sun exposure decreases. This, among other factors, contributes to vitamin D deficiency and increasing rates of depression.

We grow food in ways that can deprive us of vitamins, as well as other key nutrients. For example, mushrooms are usually a source of vitamin D. But, when they are mass produced and grown in the dark, they usually lack the vitamin.

Vitamin D deficiency has been blamed for unexplained sadness/Depression, weak/painful bones, bone loss, allergies, weight gain and pre-diabetic status. People living in the Northern Hemisphere have a higher risk of vitamin D deficiency. Other risk factors include those who work nights, live at high altitudes, are dark-skinned or spend most of their time indoors.

A study in the Journal of Neurology found that vitamin D deficiency in older adults may double the risk of some types of dementia. And, older adults may have trouble absorbing vitamin D or converting sunlight to vitamin D. Your doctor can check your vitamin D level by doing a blood test. If you suspect that you suffer from low D, there are some easy things you can do. 

For starters, get some sunlight! But, how much is enough and will still keep us safe for skin cancer danger? It’s recommended that we get about 30 minutes, twice a week. You don’t need to sunbathe in a bikini, either: Nor does it need to be a hot, summer sun. 

Foods rich in vitamin D are easy to add to our diet. Many foods are fortified with vitamin D and widely available, including cereals, milk and juice. Other sources are Fatty fish (herring, mackerel, sardines), canned tuna, mushrooms grown in sunlight, beef liver, cod liver oil, and eggs(yolks).

Vitamin D supplements are sold over-the-counter at drug stores and supermarkets. Studies have shown that drops are more effective than tablets and capsules. Recommended doses vary, depending on your age and location. But even infants are safe taking up to 400IU/day.

  

A serious deficiency in vitamin D causes a disease called Rickets. It can also contribute to osteoporosis. Overdosing on D is rare and not caused by overexposure to the sun (that presents other risks!) or over indulging in vitamin rich foods. But toxicity can result from taking supplements in doses that are too high. Be sure to consult a doctor before you add supplements to your diet. The most beneficial method to take in any nutrient is by eating a healthy variety of foods. In this case, a safe amount of exposure to the sun is also recommended.

So, if you suspect that you’ve got a case of the winter blues – You could be right! Get outdoors and soak up a little sunshine! You’re bound to feel better.