Dear Future Lover,

You are not my first. But I hope you are the last. Can you save me from the endless parade of desperate fools? Can you save me from myself? It’s a very tall order. The criteria is extensive. It is the result of having met so many potential partners who disappointed me, as well as a few who did not. I’ve learned what I want. And what I don’t. What’s necessary and what’s negotiable.

Dear Future Lover,

Do you know that making love to me is the sum of our time spent together and not something that begins when the lights go out? It’s not an isolated event, but a continuum. It happens all day long. It’s happening right now.

Dear Future Lover,

Can you ease the loneliness I feel when I’m driving late at night and no one knows where I am? No one is waiting to hear my tires on the gravel, my key in the door. Are you willing to wait up until you hear that I’ve arrived safely? I’ll always do the same, for you.

Dear Future Lover,

Will I finally know what it’s like to hear the words to a song on the radio and feel that it was written for me – for us? Are you willing to be the object of my romantic fantasies? Will you indulge me with the hope of a real and lasting love? Can you accept that I remain a hopeless romantic, despite all of the failures and near misses? Please know that I have learned the lessons with each heartache and will act in a manner rooted in harsh reality. But I will never abandon my dreams.

Dear Future Lover,

Can you allow me the security of spending time apart without guilt or suspicion? Will you respect my boundaries and understand that I treasure my time alone? Do you recognize that my other interests and relationships feed me, too, and contribute to my well-being? Can you share me with the rest of the world with confidence, knowing that I will always return to you better off for having had the experience?

Dear Future Lover,

Will you sit outside with me in the evening, as Summer turns to Fall, knowing that this is one of the times I enjoyed alone but longed for someone with whom to share it? Listen to the crickets, witness the rising moon, feel the day’s heat dissipate… please don’t trivialize the moment or spoil it with impatience.

Dear Future Lover,

Can you stimulate my mind, challenge me with your intellect? A high IQ is not necessary – Just a curious nature and a desire for insight. Show me what you have learned on your journey thru life and how it has shaped you. Have there been mistakes….. or only lessons? We all have history… what has yours taught you?

Dear Future Lover,

Will you meet my gaze and look into my eyes? Are you brave enough to risk what we might find there? Can you reach beyond the walls that pain built and see into my heart, finding the courageous part that waits for you? Do you dare expose your own fragile defenses in the hope of finding that which you seek? Or are you afraid? Can you trust me with that fear?

Dear Future Lover,

Can you be in control without being controlling? Do you understand the difference between confidence and arrogance? Your masculinity is amazing – The yin to my yang. It’s a beautiful dance, a fluid balance. Can you allow it to ebb and flow?

Dear Future Lover,

I love easily. I love hard. I believe it’s the only way. I’ve learned that not everybody knows how to respond to that. Do you? Or, will my intensity make you uncomfortable and squeamish? I’m a straight shooter in a world full of broken arrows. Be ready.

Dear Future Lover,

I’ll tell you about the scars on my heart and the wounds that have healed. I have learned to love even the worst parts of me, to dance with my skeletons, even in the rain. If I trust you enough to share them, will you love me even more, for having endured it?

Dear Future Lover,

I’m not always easy to love. I’m going to test you. You might have to prove yourself in areas where others have failed me. It might be hard and we might have to work at it. The payoff is that I’ll love you in a way you’ve never known. If we don’t last, I’ll become the standard by which you measure every other woman and your life will never be the same.