You are the star of your life. But who’s writing the script? Who are the supporting cast members? Who is directing?

Do you feel like you are going thru the motions every day, reacting to whatever forces are pushing and pulling (dragging?) you this way and that? Sometimes we get caught up in our environment, whether it be at work or home or in the community. We feel like we have no choice: We are helpless.

Why not cue the producer here? Don your best beret and shout, “CUT!” at the top of your lungs! Whether it’s Take 2 or Take 302, this is your life and it should look the way you want.

Easier said than done, right? Maybe. I’m not advocating that you quit your job or move to a deserted island. I worked in a position that constantly weighed me down with ever changing policies, procedures, meetings and a boatload of other extemporaneous bullshit. Sometimes, I felt like a minion, doing the king’s dirty work, always trying to make round pegs fit into square holes to satisfy the latest matrix of expectations. But I never lost sight of the one, true reason why I took the job in the first place – Way back before I was sucked into the machine and jaded by the cynics: I wanted to help people.

Thru trial and error, I sorted out all the things I was supposed to do and say. I kept the ones that were critical (i.e. Would prevent me from being fired.) I adapted a softer approach to some and I outright rejected others. I developed my own style within the confines of the system. 

Most importantly, I surrounded myself with like-minded people who shared my philosophy. I watched others and learned from them. And then – cue Frank Sinatra – I did it my way. 

You can, too. 

Stop being a victim. Take responsibility for where you are. You accepted the position, whether it’s a job, a home, a marriage or other relationship. Think back to the very beginning, when you were perhaps naive. What was your motivation? What was your dream? 

Now, what do you need to do to get back on track? If there are negative people holding you back, put some distance between yourself and them. If physical separation isn’t possible, then go for emotional space. Then, find people who empower you – Those who are accomplishing things that are aligned with your own goals. Observe. Learn. Borrow. Seek relationships with people you admire. Walk away from ones that bring you down.

This is your life and you only get one. Get back in that director’s chair! Fire the writers. Demand a new cast of supporting roles. After all, YOU are the star. Act like it!