Healthy Living (Guest blog)

I happen to know someone that publishes a blog every day, which I truly enjoy. These blogs contain information on how to be a fulfilled, self-satisfied, caring, loving person. One that not only lends supportive assistance to others, but also can find within themselves the true meaning of contentment and happiness. These blogs are beyond superlative and I know that I can never match the depth – but I have decided to give it a try.                                                                                                                    — Judie

Now I know that many of you are attempting to live a healthier, less sedentary lifestyle so the first item I would like to address is physical fitness. When your feet hit the floor as soon as you rise, bend down touch your toes or your knees ten times. Next, insert your iPod (or if you are over 70, turn on your stereo) to some lively music. While you are making your bed, do some twists and shouts around your bed. This will enliven your arterial system. When this is complete, (don’t you feel good already?) a speedy walk out to the kitchen and a large glass of juice, a cup of plain yogurt (yes I know crème brulee is tastier) and a side of coleslaw to get you going. The coleslaw is a boost to your colonic system which in the long run will help you lose weight. More on that later…

After breakfast, empty the dishwasher, which is good for the knee bends and stretch, stretch, stretch way up to the third shelf of the kitchen cabinets to return the wine glasses. Now, get out the dustpan and brush to pick up the pieces of the $2.00 wine glasses that you thought would last forever from the Christmas Tree Shop and that have fallen out of your hands while trying to reach up to the third shelf of the cabinet. This bending over and the sweeping motion of your wrists and arms will indeed bode well for the strength and muscle tone of your arms.

 Next on the agenda – a good rapid walk while carrying a fifteen pound wooden stick to fend off the neighbor’s two snarling Rottweilers. You will find that running is not the best method to bypass their house, however, it may help you to lose extra pounds. Be certain to wear your best pair of Nikes and a pair of armor plated shorts.  

Lunchtime is my favorite meal and you must know by now that this is the best time to consume your biggest meal of the day. A cup of clear beef broth infused with a shot of gin, two glucose free bread sticks and the aforementioned coleslaw make for a tasty and satisfying lunch. You may have as much of the slaw that you please, as long as it has very little dressing.  

By now it is probably 2 o’clock and you have spent an hour in the bathroom due to the consumption of the coleslaw – but just think how much weight you are losing! I’m sure you will love the results and no complaining about the flatulence. Just be certain you stay within the confines of your own home, preferably while your family is off the premises. They can be a detriment to your goals. Do not be affected by their jibes.

 As you sit in your favorite chair with your feet extended to your ottoman, watch Days of Our lives. I expect you to be raising and lowering your legs and bending your knees while you are in this position, then taking a short nap. The circulation will help your stamina while fending off the dogs for your run in the morning.  

I know it will be a painful task to cook that one pound sirloin steak and whisk up the Betty Crocker mashed potatoes for your husband in the evening, when you know damn well that you won’t be having the slightest taste of it. So, my suggestion is to cook it ahead of time, sneak a couple of bites, feed it to the dog and tell hubby that someone broke into the house while you were out in the yard digging a foundation for your new sauna.

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