Have you ever really thought about how you would spend the final days of your life, if you knew that’s what they were? Most of us have been asked the question, whether hypothetically or in a song: What if you had one year to live?
The first things that come to mind, for me, are dreams that have existed for most of my life that have not been fulfilled. I’d travel to England to see the places where my grandparents lived. I’d publish a book. I’d see the aurora borealis. Of course, these things require time and money. Ironically, when faced with a definitive, limited quantity of each, they would likely become more accessible.
So much for the obvious, external things I’d do. What of the important stuff? What about my inner life? How would that change in the final months? Think about your legacy and how you would be remembered. With each precious day, I would need to tell those close to me how much I love them. But more than that, I’d wish for them to know, specifically, why and how they had made me happy: Things they had taught me. How they had impacted and changed my life. I’d hate to leave without them knowing these things.
Next, I would seek out those who had harmed me or with whom relationships had ended somehow – Perhaps somebody who felt betrayed or disappointed by me. Then, I would do the same exact thing – Tell them how they had influenced me or made my path easier…. Recognize how grateful I was to have known them. The painful parts would be forgiven because it would no longer matter.
I would be free. All of the negative energy I harbor would be released – Some of which I didn’t even realize I carried. Without the bold assumption that we have time, things become crystal clear. Fear ceases to rule the way we live our daily lives. Things we push to the back of our consciousness are no longer content to simmer there: They must be addressed.
I think that I would even make peace with my regrets. Knowing that life was finite, accepting that some things just simply cannot be changed would be the only option. Forgiving others would be the easy part, compared to forgiving myself. But I think I could do it.
And my worldly possessions? All this “stuff” with which I have been struggling? Ha! Imagine the joy it would bring to give it away and know it was being used or appreciated by someone else – perhaps someone who really needs it!
I would face death in a purely genuine way, free of trepidation or pretense. Without the weight of fear and regret, I would experienced the true lightness of being! What a way to go!
Does anyone else find it absurd that we might face death in such an authentic way? What about the way we LIVE? After all, we have more control over our lives than our deaths. At least, we have today – this moment – to begin to get it right. Why squander all that freedom and light on death? If it’s worth doing then, shouldn’t we be doing it right now?
I think you hit the nail on the head here and managed to express my feelings exactly.
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Thank you, Candace! I think the message is an important one.
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You’re a great writer Babs!
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Yes, I think we would all start living and loving our precious lives, from the inside out with greater appreciation for everything. Great article once again. Thanks Babs.
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Thanks, Deb! You are so correct! I love the term ‘inside out!’
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It must be the age. I just had this discussion with my younger sister last night, while walking. Looking at the time we may have left and what we would do with it. Well written, Babs.
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Thanks, Donna! Keep thinking along these lines – We only get this one life!
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Hi Barbara, I have a will so I know where all my millions and golden possessions will be going. But the thing that I wonder is, too bad we don’t know because we would not have to worry about saving money in the bank and could just spend whatever we wanted.
BTW I ran into George the other day at Price Rite. He, as usual, looked like he just stepped out of GQ. I had just started to cash out and had a roll of bathroom paper in my hand when all of a sudden I hear. “Hi Judith”….. So we start talking and all of a sudden I realize while I’m going on and on I have the roll of paper in my hand and I’m waving it about while I’m talking. Isn’t that just like me???
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